


if we grow up

by your_bus_driver



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Baby Names, Dreams for the Future, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Existential Angst, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Freudian Slips, Friends to Lovers, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Mutual Pining, One Shot, Pining, Plans For The Future, Talking About The Future, conversations around the fireplace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:08:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22089901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_bus_driver/pseuds/your_bus_driver
Summary: “Do you think we’ll grow old?” Lily asked.“That’s a little heavy, don’t you think?” James asked.Lily looked over at him, barely able to keep her head on her shoulders. “I’m just curious.” It was weird to see James not smiling.“I hope so. I think I’d be a silver fox.” Sirius said.“Yeah right, like you’d let it get that far.” James looked away to smile at Sirius. Lily smiled. “The first time you see a grey hair, you’ll be over the sink with a bottle of muggle hair dye, chasing the grey away.”
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 11
Kudos: 104





	if we grow up

**Author's Note:**

> this has been in my drafts for a while. I don't support j.k. rowlings recent anything... but I still love the characters. I think this is my first james and lily fic! it's been my favorites for a while and it's finally done!

The wind howled outside. The fire crackled breathing heat into their little nook. Heat from the fire, heat from the firewhiskey, and heat from James should’ve kept her warm but there was still a chill she couldn’t shake.

Sirius was sprawled out on the floor, looking aimlessly up at the ceiling. His hair fanned out around him. Remus was folded up in an armchair closer to the fire. He had his arms wrapped around his knees and his eyes were unfocused staring at the fireplace. If Sirius lifted his hand he could touch the toe of Remus’ shoe. 

James was lounging at the other side of the couch, legs spread out and his wand leaving trails of glitter as it slowly circled the air. He looked different without his glasses. Younger. Smaller. Different. 

“What do you think is gonna happen?” Sirius asked, breaking the silence that they had slipped into.

“What, Pads?” Lily felt the couch shift when James shifted, looking down at Sirius. 

“What will happen next year? When we’re not all here, you know, together.” He said looking over at James. “What’s going to happen when we have to leave?”

“I see us getting an apartment together.” James said. He looked over at Remus. “All of us.”

She saw Remus smile softly out of the corner of her eye. 

“London or somewhere, near Diagon Alley.” James said. “It’ll be just like now, except we’ll have our own bedrooms. I won’t have to listen to you whine all the time.”

“I’ll finally be free of your snoring.” Sirius sniped back.

“I bet not. He’ll be heard through the walls. I’m surprised the rest of the tower can’t hear it at night.” Remus added, quietly. 

“I have never snored. Not one night of my life.” James protested. 

“You sound like the Hogwarts Express.” Sirius said.

“I don’t charm my curtains for nothing.” Remus chuckled. 

“Lily, don’t believe them. I don’t snore.”

“How would you know? You’re asleep when you do it. Remus and I have to deal with it night in and night out. Even Peter can’t sleep through it. He smuggled in some muggle earplugs.”

“Godric knows, he’s terrible at silencing charms. The first time he tried to do it, he couldn’t hear anything for two days. Pure luck that the professors don’t call on him.” 

“We had to take him to Madam Pomfrey.” Sirius giggled. 

“We told her James did it, messed up a potion in Slughorn’s and spilled it on him.”

“Is that why she’s been short with me lately?”

“I wouldn’t rule it out.” Remus smirked. 

“I’m surprised she believed us.” Sirius said, still giggling. 

“When you get married, I’m giving your wife earplugs as a gift. In bulk.” Sirius said.

“Congrats, Lily. You’re getting earplugs.”

She rolled her eyes. “I already have earplugs.”

“Oh, really?” Sirius said, looking between her and James.

“Not like that. Marlene talks in her sleep.” She said softly. If she let herself, she could sink into the soft, warm couch and never be heard from again. 

“Well, then you’ll be used to it.” Sirius winked, 

She held her hand out to Remus who passed her the bottle of firewhiskey, groaning as he settled back into his armchair. 

“You sound like an old man, Moony.” James changed the subject. 

“Bugger off.” Remus said.

“Old bones to match an old soul.” Sirius said.

“You too.” Remus said.

She took a swig of the bottle and felt the warmth run through her body. She hummed and snuggled down into her blanket. 

“I think that’s enough for you, young lady.” Sirius said.

“But dad.” She whined and laughed a high and clear laugh. James chuckled next to her.

“No but’s, missy. You’re cut off.” Sirius griped and then took a sip.

“Aww,” She sighed, a giggle escaping her. She turned so that she could lean her whole body against the back of the couch, rested her head on the armrest. 

Lily listened to the fire crackle and the wind outside the tower. She could feel her heartbeat, the breath of flowing in and out of her chest, the upholstery underneath her fingertips.

“Do you think we’ll grow old?” Lily asked.

“That’s a little heavy, don’t you think?” James asked.

Lily looked over at him, barely able to keep her head on her shoulders. “I’m just curious.” It was weird to see James not smiling. 

“I hope so. I think I’d be a silver fox.” Sirius said.

“Yeah right, like you’d let it get that far.” James looked away to smile at Sirius. Lily smiled. “The first time you see a grey hair, you’ll be over the sink with a bottle of muggle hair dye, chasing the grey away.”

“I’d look distinguished.” Sirius said wistfully.

“Like Dumbledore?” Remus said.

“Not like Dumbledore. Like-” Sirius began.

“Flitwick, you mean.” James finished.

“No,” He scoffed. “No, like-”

“Pince?” Lily giggled.

“Forget, you lot. I’d look amazing. I’d make people swoon.” Sirius huffed. “What about you, Remus?”

“Would I swoon?” Remus said, dryly.

“No, I mean…” Lily could see him blush in the low light. “What do you want to be when you grow old? What do you want to do with your life?”

“I’m not sure,” Remus replied softly. “When I was a kid, I wanted to be a pilot.”

“Aww.” Lily cooed. Remus glared at her goodnaturedly.

“What’s a pilot?” James asked.

“They’re like the conductor of a plane.”

“That’s pretty cool.”

“For someone who hates broomsticks, that’s an odd dream.”

“Planes are different. You can’t fall off a plane.”

“You can crash a plane.” Lily interjected.

“Sure, but there are safeties put in place to prevent that.” he said. “Anyway, turns out you can’t be colorblind.” Remus shrugged. “And after awhile, I grew out of the idea. I never picked up a new one.”

“Why?” Sirius asked.

“It just didn’t seem healthy. Odds are I’m gonna be unemployed. No one wants to hire a werewolf. With the war coming up, I don't think I’ve been counting on a future. Odds are I’m not getting out of it.”

“What makes you say that?” Lily asked.

“I’ve just got a feeling.” Remus sat back further in his seat. 

She suddenly felt miserable for Remus. “I see you as a professor.” Lily said.

“Oh, my god. I can totally see that.” Sirius bolted up. “Professor Lupin.” 

“You could totally be a professor! You always help us out with our homework. Without you, I wouldn’t be passing charms.” James said. “And Sirius wouldn’t be passing anything. You should totally be a professor.”

“Sit down, I’m teaching.” Sirius said, in a posh voice, impersonating Remus.

“I can see it now. Professor Lupin: elbow patches, a pair of reading glasses, a deep pocketed cardigan, carrying around a cup of tea and a book under your arm. You’d be a total P.I.L.F.”

“A what?” Remus laughed.

“A P.I.L.F., like M.I.L.F.” Lily shrugged.

“Detention!” Sirius shouted, pointing at Lily. 

“Or D.I.L.F.” James added. 

“Detention!” He then turned to Remus and winked. “I’d like to see you after class.” 

Remus rolled his eyes but she could see him blushing.

“So, Lily. Are there any P.I.L.F.’s here at Hogwarts now? Any you have your eye on?” Sirius asked with a wink.

“I can tell you who’s not a P.I.L.F.” Lily replied.

“Because there are too many P.I.L.F.’s to name?” James asked.

“Slughorn.” Lily shuddered. “That man gives me the creeps.”

“Really? I thought you loved his class?”

“I love Potions. I don’t like him.” She reached to take the bottle from Sirius but he held it out of her reach. 

“Why?”

“He looks at me like I’m a prize, or something. It’s creepy.” She swiped to grab it again but he passed it to James. 

“He brags about you all the time.”

“You don’t have to tell me. He brags to other students, while I’m there. ‘Look at what Ms. Evans has accomplished’ or ‘That is the best potion I’ve seen today’ in front of everyone. ‘Everyone should follow her example.’” Lily said.

“I can see how that would be embarrassing.” Remus said.

Lily tried once more for the firewhiskey then gave up when James handed it to Remus. 

“What about you?” James asked, tapping her thigh with his foot.

“What about me what?” She asked, starting to slur. 

“What do you, or did you, want to be when you grow up?”

She laid her head back. The ceiling was much too high all of a sudden. She looked back down. “I wanted to be a mother.”

“Me too.” Sirius said.

“I’m being serious.” She protested.

“No, I’m Sirius.” He said gleefully.

“I can’t believe you set him up like that.” James admonished.

“I didn't mean to. I forgot.” Lily frowned. “I’m too drunk for word games.” 

“Then scrabble is definitely off the table. My night is ruined.” Remus 

“Shut it, you lot,” James swotted at the both of them, then turned back to her. “Keep going.” 

“I always wanted to be a mom.” She said quietly. She looked over at the fire again. “I wanted to be other stuff too. I wanted to be a muggle doctor before I found out I was a wizard, or a nurse. Then I wanted to be a healer. But I always wanted to be a mom too.”

“I get that.” James added. “I wanted to be a quidditch player, and a dad. I still want to be a dad. I don’t think the quidditch thing is gonna pan out, though.” James chuckled. There was no humor behind it.

He was a great quidditch player. She couldn’t figure out how he could be so good. She was horrid at it. She had never tried after she failed her first flying lesson back in first year.

“What would you want to have?” Lily asked.

“A son.” He said, decisively. “I always pictured a son. But I won’t mind if I had a daughter.”

“What would you name him?” 

James adopting a more relaxed position, pulling his legs up so they were resting, stretched out, next to hers.

“I hadn’t thought about it… Eddie maybe.” 

“Eddie?” She said, with a challenging tone.

“What? Eddie isn’t so bad.” James said defensively.

“It’s just… terrible.” She laughed.

“How about… Maxwell?” He supplied.

“Blah.” She said. He chuckled.

“Arlo,” He added.

She laughed outright at that. “What is he a dog? We’re not naming our kid that. No way.”

She should’ve stopped after one drink. She opened her eyes to find three pairs staring at her. 

“Our kid?” James asked, his eyes were bright.

Sirius was looking at her with an unabashed grin. Remus was smiling fondly, knowingly. There was nothing she could say to stop this train in motion. 

“Then, what should we name our kid?” He had a smile on his face, a soft smile.

“I don’t know. I’ve always been fond of the name Harry if it was a boy. Margaret if it was a girl but she’d be called Peggy.”

“I like Harry.” He said. She smiled back at him tentatively.

They stared at each other for a long moment before she came back to herself. She looked away. She wanted to itch her heated cheeks, but that would acknowledge that she was blushing.

“I call being the cool uncle!” Sirius said from the floor, raising his hand.

“We’re not related.” James said back.

“We’re brothers from different mothers.” Sirius clarified.

“You already have a brother.”

“Who’s a total prick. You’re a prick but not a total prick.” Sirius said. “This isn't a negotiation. I’m gonna be the cool uncle, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Would you settle for godfather?” James said.

“I think I could be persuaded.”

Lily looked over at Remus to see him smiling. She caught his eye. He quirked his eyebrow. She rolled her eyes.

She knew that James wasn’t going to forget this. He was being calm now. But she was sure that he would be shouting it from the rooftops tomorrow. He’d grown in the past year but not that much.

“If Sirius is gonna be the godfather, what am I?” Remus asked, looking at Lily, but directing the question to James.

“I don’t know. Maybe you and Sirius could be co-godfather’s.” James said.

“Or two cool uncles,” Lily suggested, coyly.

Remus and Sirius looked at each other.

“I don’t know if Sirius and I could pass as brothers.” Remus said, completely missing the point.

“Me neither.” Lily said, winking at Remus.

“Well, it’s getting late.” Sirius said, pretending to check his watch. “Maybe we should call it a night.”

“You sure, Padfoot?” James said in a knowing voice.

“Yeah,” Sirius slowly got to his feet. “Yeah. I’m gonna head up. Lily don’t believe anything James says. You’re drunk. He’s drunk. It’s not a good combination. Remus, don’t believe anything Lily says. James don’t believe anything Remus says. No one believe anything, okay. Night, guys.”

“Does that mean we shouldn’t believe anything he said either?” James asked when Sirius was gone.

Lily shrugged, curling up more against the couch. James put his leg closer to hers so they were touching. She smiled.

“Well, that’s my cue to leave.” Remus said. He got up and walked around the couch. When he was standing behind James, and James couldn’t see him, he winked at Lily. 

Remus turned away and jogged up the stairs. Lily had an idea why he was going so fast.

“I’m happy for them.” James said.

“Me too.” Lily smiled.

“I’m gonna stay down here for now, if that’s okay with you.” James said. “Don’t want to walk in on anything.”

“I would.” Lily slurred.

“What?” James asked, chuckling

“They’re both attractive. You could walk in on some worse couples.”

“Oh my god, you’re so drunk. I’m telling them you said that.” James said, shaking his head. “I think I’d rather not walk in on my best mates. It would make looking them in the eye a bit harder from then on.”

“Your choice.” Lily said. She shifted and felt her leg brush against James.

She should probably be getting upstairs soon. She felt herself slipping further and further into the sofa by the minute. How had she never noticed how comfy it was before? 

“So, do you ever think you’ll be a mom.” James asked.

“I don’t know.” Lily said thoughtfully. “I hope, someday. I don’t know if I’d want to bring a kid into this kind of world, you know. What it's turning into, anyway.”

“I understand that.” James said. “But don’t let the world make your decision for you. There are ways to avoid it.”

“Like what?”

“Leaving, moving away.” James suggested.

“Where?” 

“America, maybe. India. I don’t know. I’m just saying.”

“I don’t think we could go anywhere that they couldn’t find us.” Lily said. “I couldn’t leave the others behind like that either. If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be. I’m just not going to plan on anything just yet.” 

“Just… I wouldn’t let the world make my choice for me. You shouldn’t either.” 

“I won’t.” She said.

“Well, I better get to bed.” She said, sitting up. She tossed her leg over the side of the couch. She took a moment to get up, steadying herself. She felt his eyes on her as she slowly walked around the couch.

She smiled at him and patted his shoulder as she passed. “Night, James.”

“Night, Lily.” He said. She walked slowly towards the staircase, feeling his eyes on her the whole way.

She quietly walked into her room. From what she could tell the others were asleep. Marlene was rambling about windows and muskrats.

She was too drunk to wrestle with her clothes. She would clean herself up when she could walk in a straight line. She felt herself blush as she pulled out a pair of earplugs she kept under her pillow.When she turned over to go to sleep her thoughts drifted to the man downstairs. She couldn’t help but smile.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! I hope you liked it! kudos and comments make my day!


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